Thursday, 11 July 2019

Why We Chose To Find Out The Sex Of Our Baby

2 years ago, Matt and I were heading to our local hospital for our 20 week scan. It was a very important day for us because we were hopefully going to find out whether we were expecting a boy or a girl. Finding out the sex was really important to me and so I'd like to talk about why we chose to find out.

Finding out baby's gender

Note: Thrice Upon a Dream has now moved to Wonder and Grey!

"Are you going to find out the sex?" is a question most, if not all, expectant parents are asked at least once during pregnancy. The truth is, it wasn't optional for me. I needed to know as soon as possible. This mentality actually left me feeling very anxious in the days leading up to our scan. This was obviously partly anxieties about any abnormalities they might find mixed in with the uncertainty of whether or not they'd be able to successfully sex the baby.

Having already lost two earlier pregnancies, I basically lived in constant fear that something would inevitably go wrong and I'd have to endure that heartache, all that loss and grief, all over again. It was incredibly painful for me.

But I think that was also why finding out the sex was so important to me.

As I've mentioned, we had two previous pregnancies but never got to see them on a scan. We never found out if they were male or female. They were both everything and yet nothing at all.

So around the time of our anomaly scan with Mini, I was anything but rational. The most pressing thing was knowing.

I was increasingly paranoid that we wouldn't be able to find out the sex either through Mini's refusal to play ball or because his positioning wasn't great and so I spent many hours begging Matt to consider having a private scan to find out if that was the case.

Matt wasn't keen on going through that process again as it was during a private scan that we discovered that our second pregnancy wasn't viable. The man makes fair points but I was the one with all the hormones and again, I wasn't exactly being rational.

It's difficult to explain but I really think that the main reason I needed to know was because of everything we'd already been through. Finding out allowed me to nurture either a son or a daughter, to give my unborn child a name and to have hope.

As it turned out, Mini was not playing ball. We were told to go and have a cold Coke, have a walk around and then come back in about twenty minutes to try again. We did. Still no luck.

Just as the sonographer was about to give up, Mini decided to turn. And just like that, we found out we were having a boy.

I think we both always knew that I was carrying a boy because I often made jokes about it. Although ironically, we'd actually chosen a name for a girl and couldn't agree on any boys names. If I liked it, Matt hated it and vice versa but within a week or so, we'd picked out a name for our little Mini. It just felt right.

Would you choose to find out the sex of your baby or would you prefer to keep it a surprise? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

2 comments on "Why We Chose To Find Out The Sex Of Our Baby"
  1. Oh gosh, if I was pregnant I think I'd have to find out. Just because I hate not knowing things and like to have all information as soon as possible! I can see both sides of it but for me, I'd definitely like to know!


    1. Thanks Jenny! I think that's exactly it - if you don't find out, surely you'd just spend all of that time wondering! I can't even imagine having that kind of patience haha.